The Voice of depression ​

#Shutupdepression

Depression has a voice.

If you have depression you already know this, but for people who don’t suffer from this disease, it can be hard to understand. That is why I am writing about it today.

So yes, depression has a voice, a voice that has direct access to the brain, heart, and body of the afflicted. A voice that effects people in a variety of ways meaning some of us have a “normal” life with healthy relationships and success, while some of us can’t function so they face a lifelong struggle with low self-esteem, insecurities, and physical pain. And that is why it is so important to me that you understand the different ways that this disease can affect you or your loved ones.

As Life and Spiritual Coach, I remind people what happiness and love feel like again. That doesn’t make me an expert in this matter but my lifelong struggle with mild depression does. And the deep depression I battled not too long ago does too.

In 2013, 14 months after my daughter was born, I fell into deep depression, I felt worthless, ugly, without any motivation and hope, I felt trapped in a dark cloud, without the ability to see with joy and love. I wanted to die.

There I was, a new mother to a beautiful baby girl with an amazing husband and loving home, and every afternoon, my only thought was “What is the best time to jump out of the 3rd floor window?” Usually I thought it would better to do it in afternoon, when my baby girl was napping. I didn’t want her to be alone for long so if I jumped in the afternoon, it wouldn’t be long before her father would come home from work in the early evening. See depression isn’t selfish, is not about hurting other people is about hurting yourself and hurting yourself in ways nobody sees or in the most convenient ways possible.

In a moment of clarity during meditation, my heart felt love and compassion for me, I remembered the feelings of happiness and excitement about a new phase of my life, buying a home in a great neighborhood right outside Boston where it is safe for kids play on the street, and we can hopefully make lifelong friends, I mean what else can you ask for, right? And that is exactly what I asked myself that day, how can you feel so blessed about everything and everyone? But you cannot feel that about yourself, no empathy or patience. That is when I realized depression has a voice and that is the voice I was hearing louder than any other voice in my life.

I knew that I needed help ASAP. I started taking care of my depression. Fortunately, medicine, meditation, and patience did the trick. I know that filtering out that voice, depression’s voice, is a lifelong journey with ups and downs, believe me, sometimes I can still hear it but now I know who is talking.

The voice of depression, speaks to each of us in a language, in a way that only you can understand clearly because depression knows that your heart and mind are listening, and it knows which the words hurt you the most. Depression’s uncompromising voice usually sounds like this:

"Don’t do it, it is not worth it because you will fail. You are alone is because you are worthless. People close to you, know that you are nothing and they are ok with it because they don’t care about you. The life that you are living doesn’t matter to anyone, leave and you will see, nobody will remember you. Don’t try anything because you will prove that no matter how hard you try, you can’t do it because you are a Loser. You are fat. You are ugly. You are worthless. You don’t matter. You will never matter."

I can keep going but you get it. The voice is always a negative, self-deprecating droning in your head about what you can’t do and who doesn’t care. It is relentless and constant. Add to that the physical pain, constant stress, sleepless nights, bad nutrition, and lack of energy for the perfect combination to bring the afflicted to their knees. It causes an internal breakdown that leads to more self-destructive behavior and suicidal thoughts.

But, you can make a difference for yourself or another struggling with depression, here is the most important thing that you need know:

That voice, the one that whispers or yells, that voice telling you those horrible things about yourself, it is NOT your voice.

It is the voice of depression, and it is LYING. It is lying about your success and your beauty, lying about your future, lying about your potential, lying about your value, lying about how much your loved ones care. But the biggest lie is that you can’t or don’t have the talents or ability to live a wholesome life full of happiness, success, and love.

I am writing this article to tell you that You are beautiful and special, that there are no limits for your success and happiness, because God made you, and God doesn’t make mistakes. He created a wonderful world for you to live in, with all the resources you need for a wonderful, full life. You can live life with depression without being depressed but you need to turn down the volume on the voice of depression so the voice of love, happiness, and positivity can be heard.

Our purpose in this life is to be happy and successful, to love for ourselves and others, to feel and see greatness in everything and everyone, no matter what their abilities or disabilities are. Regardless of heritage, religion, or sex, we all have the same birthright…Happiness and Success.

So here is what I say to depression: I am beautiful and smart, you almost made me believe that God made a mistake with me. But He did not, He made me with love, and love is all I need. I love myself, I love my life, and I am blessed because I’m here. Know that I will fight you always. Every time you put me down, the only thing that you will hear from me is a polite “shut up depression” because I have a beautiful life to live….#shutupdepression.